How often have you gone to somebody's house, and they decided today was the day they would hand something down to you they no longer needed? How often has someone come to your house and you choose to give them something you no longer need? How often have you heard somebody say this furniture was passed down from my mother or family member. I say this is something that happens very often. I know because every time I see my mama, she always tries to get rid of her stuff and knows good and well I will take it. My mama does this because growing up, she was given hand-me-downs which also struck an interest in secondhand (thrift stores) for her. If you do not know what secondhand is, stores where people donate things they no longer need, and the store resells for a reasonable price. I always looked at the term second hand as, from one hand to the next. The thing about secondhand stores is that you can find some good stuff; however, you can also find stuff that needs to go in the trash. The stores would rather you purchase the garbage before they dump it themselves. My mother and I make it a girl's day and travel from store to store for that very reason because some stuff is trash. I have developed the same love she has for those stores; however, the spirit of sneezing falls upon me as soon as I walk in. The odd thing is the worst the sneezing usually is for me, the stores I typically find the most trash (stuff) in and normally walk out.
Take What You Need
My mama knows that things do not have to be new for me to want them, so somehow, she feels that she should be the one to give them to me at no cost. I promise anytime your girl goes to visit Myrtle, I am guaranteed to leave with a trash bag of stuff or grocery bag. The things she gives me a lot of times are right on time and be having me hollering, “Yasssss” as I bag it up. The other stuff she tries to give me, let us be honest, needs to go in the trash, prompting me to give her the side eye. I used just to take it for the sake of her feelings until I realized I was adding to the trash I had. I had to be like mama, “Why do you keep dumping the stuff you need to let go on me.” I can honestly say it was the moment I realized this is what happens in life.
We often allow people to dump the trash they need to let go of on us. We do it because we may be empathetic, sympathetic, think we can handle it, or do not know how to say "NO." We take on more trash, knowing what trashed we are consumed with that already belongs to us. The overflow does not come into play, and we act as if we can handle it. Hell, we act like once the trash is removed, we might need to cleanse it. If you have an outdoor garbage can, you know it must be deep cleaned often. Why because they start to attract things you do not want, like bugs, maggots, flies, or an appearance that is not pretty. The same thing with people is once they see trashed can be dumped on you, they can care less about the cleanup. They do not realize they leave you with so much garbage that a deep cleanse is needed after it is carried away. A deep clean is necessary because you would catch yourself attracting the same type of people. I had to learn how to rid people of the trash (stuff) they were trying to dump on me because, at one point, I was consumed. The cleanup was not pretty, and some relationships never bounced back from it. The cleanup was not pretty at all, and some relationships never bounced back from them, but the ones that were supposed to did. I had to learn it was necessary and that it is my responsibility to let people know I have no room for their trash so they can keep it or let it go.
The Clean Up
If you have an outdoor garbage can, you know they must be deep cleaned often. Why because they begin attracting things you do not want like bugs, maggots, flies, or an appearance that is not pretty. The thing with people is once they see they can dump their trash on you, they can care less about the cleanup. They do not care they leave you with so much of their garbage that a deep clean is needed after it is carried away. The reason the deep clean is needed because you will catch yourself attracting the same type of people and they become pest or ugly. I had to learn how to rid people of the trash (stuff) they were trying to dump on me. I found myself so consumed with their trash; I could not figure out what belonged to me. The trash was beginning to merge, and I did not know what was going on. The trash overflow landed me on the couch of a stranger (counselor) who was helping me with the cleanup but let me tell you I was not ready. The cleanup was not pretty at all, and often I questioned how I was going to bounce back from it. I can say some relationships where people thought they can continue to dump their trash on me stopped. I had to work extra hard to rebuild the relationships that were impacted by my trash overflow. I learned that it is my responsibility to let people know I have no room for their trash so they can keep it or take it out on their own.
Things to Think About
What trash are you holding on to?
Do you know how to identify the trash?
Why are you opening up your bag to take on someone else's trash?
Are you ready for the cleanup?