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Off the Top by C Nicole

"Your Voice is Your Power"

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About C Nicole

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C Nicole is a wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt, and so many other things. I created "Off the top by C. Nicole" to take you on a journey of my inner thoughts. Growing up my parents always told me I say whatever comes to mind without thinking. I must say, they were absolutely right. The older I became the more I realized I journaled my thoughts but never released them. The people closest to me would only get a snippet, but now the time has come to share with the world. My blog is a place where you get to hear the thoughts I have as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and human being. 

 

So grab your coffee, tea, and it's five o'clock where you are, grab your adult beverage!

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Do you ever have moments when everything feels like a mess because of things you've experienced or are currently going through? Has someone done something to you or you to others, and when mentioned, they say, "Shit Happens." This can make a person mad based on their mindset; however, it's true. A few weeks ago, as I finished taking care of some business, I pulled up to my house to see my husband sitting in the driveway. My eight-year-old walks up to the car, and he says, "Mom Amare wants you in the calmest voice. In my mind, I was like, what does he want? He could've just asked his dad, but I knew why I was chosen after I walked through the front door. I was instantly greeted by what sounded like Niagara Falls, and I thought I was about to faint and go to glory. Baby, honey, chile water was rushing from the ceiling as I was on the phone with my brother. I flew up the stairs without thinking because I knew the source of the mess was upstairs. I told my brother gotta go, and as soon as I turned the corner, both kids were in our bathroom trying to clean it up. I'm talking about every towel and comforter in my linen closet—the good ones, the bad ones, and the ones that look sad. The boys looked at me as I said, "What happened in a not-so-calm tone"? I was told the little one and the toilet had a fight, and well, we know who the winner was. Water was everywhere and now traveling into our bedroom, which has carpet. Let me keep it real, I was hot under the collar because they have a bathroom, but nope, he wanted to sit his little round brown on our toilet.



I removed myself from the situation until I could talk it out and find the solution to the mess. I finally got cool under my collar because the reality of the problem was nothing I would've said or done would change the situation. I told the boys they would be the ones to clean it up, not me or their dad. I provided them with everything they needed, and they would have to figure out the solution to fix the mess. Honestly, I came behind them to bleach down everything because their cleaning is questionable on a regular day. I just wanted to do it myself; however, I wanted them to see that if you make a mess, no matter how bad it is, clean it up. Yes, the little one made the mess, but the oldest knew and didn't seek help. I proceeded to reach out to our insurance company and file a claim reluctantly because I knew what the consequence would be. Two water claims in a little over a year; in the insurance world, that's a DNR (Do Not Renew) next renewal, but oh well, becauseShitit happens. I had to shift my mind and focus on the positive and not the negative. The negative was that we must find contractors, have missing flooring, a hole in our ceiling, and new insurance soon. The positive is that there was no loss of life, and now we get to remodel half of our house's upper and lower half. I couldn't stay mad even if I wanted to because I had to take a moment to reflect on all the messes I had caused my parents and loved ones through the years. We all have created messes in the lives of others or ourselves. The way we did it was sometimes as subtle as my youngest or drastic; however, it didn't change; we made a mess. When it happens, it feels like it's pouring out from every direction, and we rush looking to find out the source of it to prevent further damage, but it's too latShithe shit has already hit the fan, and we always want to be able to find the source. The only thing we can do is find a solution to fix it, which will look different in every situation. If a solution is not found quickly, the mess will get worse, and eventually, more things will happen, causing it to be hazardous. If you do it promptly, the restoration will be more straightforward, and the clean-up will take less time, but however you do it, it will cost you something. The "Something" may be putting your pride aside, having a conversation when you don't want to, visiting a place you avoided because you felt you weren't ready, or forgiving yourself for allowing things to flood your thoughts longer than they should.




In conclusion, "Shit Happens," and how you handle the mess determines the outcome. Find a solution early on and tailor it according to the size of the mess. Refrain from walking into it thinking the source will be identifiable because you will set yourself up for failure. When it's not, be prepared to find a solution regardless so the mess doesn't cause you to be a mess. The last thing you want is to be stuck in a Shitty mindset because you can't get past the smell of things and what the damage looks like.

I challenge you today to figure out how yoShitll find a solution when Shit happens!



Ask yourself these questions.

  1. What messes have you created that you have left for someone to clean?

  2. Are you a person who is stuck on how the mess was created, or are you looking for a solution?


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Yesterday my son and I were pulling up to our house after grabbing some dinner from Culvers. He looked at me and said, "Ma, the birds are back." I said yeah, Mare, I know they come back every year. Now let me tell you something about these birds; they are loud and leave a mess on my porch, letting me know they have been there. The birds, I felt, were a nuisance because they picked my porch lights to build a nest. I don't know why; however, for quite some time, I would knock the nest down as soon as they started building; however, I would make sure there were no eggs inside. I can imagine how the birds felt when they came back throughout the day to add to what they built to see that it was knocked down again. They probably were singing, "Brrrrr, what happened to that boy" but it didn't stop them. We went back and forth doing this little dance for quite some time until they caught me slipping. I went to knock it down, and long, behold, that damn nest was filled with eggs. The look on my face as I clutched my invisible pearls, was priceless. I had no choice but to leave it alone because they worked so hard to not only build it but to put into making sure it was safe enough for their babies. From that day forward, every spring, I look forward to watching them return to start over without interruptions. Our conversation about the birds led into our life sessions/lessons, and I asked my son why we don't have the same determination as humans. He said, "Ma, I don't know."





Those damn birds didn't care how often I destroyed what they built. They were persistent and knew the temporary home they were building would eventually see the light of day. So why do we humans work hard on something, and the moment an obstacle causes us to have to pivot, we walk away? We are like this shit for the birds; I'm tired of tweeting; 20 years have passed, and we are talking about shoulda, woulda, coulda. The truth is we could have however we "chose" to let the setbacks interfere and not find an alternate way. I think about how if I didn't walk away 12 years ago from a hellacious marriage, I wouldn't be in a successful one today. No matter how often I felt like I was getting knocked down, I continued to press on until I could take flight for good.


In conclusion, we will always face things that we may feel are hindering us from moving toward our goals, whether having a successful marriage, job, friendships, or even the house we always wanted. But, if we can hold our beaks high like the damn birds, be persistent, and be determined, we can start over each day until the nest we are building is finished.




I challenge you to ask yourself these questions?'

  1. Have you identified the reasons you never move forward when you are faced with adversity?

  2. Do you want to see what you always wanted come to fruition?

  3. When will you stop tweeting? FYI I am not talking about Twitter either.




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How many times have you been on the phone with someone, and all you heard was a noise that sounded like a cricket in the background? The initial thought is, what is that noise? So you eventually ask the other person what you are talking about. Most people will say Shhhhhh be quiet." I'll let you know when I hear it again. The moment the chirp goes off, you say, "That's It,' and the person is like, "Girl," that ain't nothing but the smoke detector. The craziest thing, but most people get used to that noise. Your girl is guilty because I've done this. We will go to Target 5 times, CVS 5, and still not pick up a battery because we think it's not urgent, but is it wise? The answer is no because what happens when a fire breaks out and destroy everything? The things that follow along are more significant than the two seconds it would have taken to replace the damn battery, yet we are letting it continually be a distraction in our background.



The purpose of the smoke detector is to notify a person that there is a fire in the home or a potential risk, whether that's cooking and you are burning up food or if the battery has gone out. The detector will let you know that help is needed and most definitely will humble you in the same process. In most homes, you will find them in the halls, bedrooms, and throughout the house. They are there, but most people forget all about them until they send an unfriendly reminder similar to what we experience with people in our daily lives.


How many times have there been signs about things or people around? The alarms kept going off, but you ignored them because you thought they would be okay if you dealt with it later. Those around you kept asking what was happening, but you said, " Oh, that's nothing. I deal with it later until all hell (the fire) breaks loose, and you are trying to determine how you got there. Now you are stuck waiting for the smoke to clear so you can see what is potentially salvageable in the situation. You are waiting for the clearance to go back and see if it's worth saving or a total loss when you could have just addressed the warning beforehand.


In conclusion, we are given warning signs at times; however, there are times when there is a malfunction, and you don't know what's to come. Therefore, we should take the time and watch out for the alarms, know when it's time to reset, and know that sometimes when the smoke clears, it might be a total loss.



I challenge you to ask yourself these questions!

  1. Do you realize the warning signs in front of you about people and things?

  2. How long are you going to continue to ignore the warnings?


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