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Off the Top by C Nicole

"Your Voice is Your Power"

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About C Nicole


C Nicole is a wife, mother, sister, friend, aunt, and so many other things. I created "Off the top by C. Nicole" to take you on a journey of my inner thoughts. Growing up my parents always told me I say whatever comes to mind without thinking. I must say, they were absolutely right. The older I became the more I realized I journaled my thoughts but never released them. The people closest to me would only get a snippet, but now the time has come to share with the world. My blog is a place where you get to hear the thoughts I have as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and human being. 


So grab your coffee, tea, and it's five o'clock where you are, grab your adult beverage!


The other day I was thirsty, and I reached for the nightstand to grab my cup of water, but it was empty. A little backstory, I drink water every night before bed, during the night, and when I wake up. My intake has increased because I'm going through some changes. My hot flashes have kicked up a notch, and it feels like hell is near, but not to the point I would drink all my water before morning. Let me tell you, your girl was agitated because I was hot and had to go downstairs to the kitchen and feel the cold floors on my feet. All I wanted was to quench my thirst, roll over, and continue dreaming. However, that was impossible because how was I supposed to get something from a cup when it no longer existed? Which forced me to go into deep thought.

How often can we say we have allowed our cups to become empty because we were too busy pouring into others? Pouring consists of transferring something from one place to another. Most of us prefer to keep what's in our cups to ourselves; however, it becomes easier when we have too much at the top. I know I'm not the only person who has had too much in my cup and offered the person beside me to put some in theirs. I don't even think; I act. The truth is overflow is few and far between, and we will find ourselves in a position that can be detrimental because we treat our cups like they are to the top all the time. We become the shoulders for others to lean on while we can barely hold them up from the weight already carried. We become the researcher for everyone else when we can't find the answers for ourselves. We find ourselves giving more and more out of our cups until it's empty, and it's the middle of life, and we are figuring out how we will quench our thirst.

Be mindful of what you allow in your cup. Don't allow the things or people around you to deplete you of the substance that you hold. If you can share your overflow, that's fine, but leave some for yourself before singing "Can I Get a Refill by Elle Varner."

As you go about your week as yourself, these questions:

  1. Do you have the capacity to pour into anyone else?

  2. How do you manage the moments you allow yourself to become empty?

  3. Are you running on overflow, or are you on the floor?

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Recently I've been cutting back on some of my spending because I somehow thought I was rich, lol. I had so many subscriptions to different apps, but what purpose were they fulfilling because they were dormant? I was not only subscribed to apps but other memberships ranging from the gym, wine clubs, business, and emails I signed up for. My checking account saw the impact, but there was no benefit to me, so I decided to cancel them. While unsubscribing, I started to think about how many things we find ourselves subscribing to that we know we shouldn't in the first place. We get caught up in a trial or introduction period and find ourselves trying to escape it.

Free Trial/Introductory Period

The trial/introductory period always starts with something appealing or intriguing. Most subscriptions will say it's a 7-day trial, but depending on the company, it could be 30 days. The terms are in the fine print, which lets you know a deduction from your card or checking account on file for a monthly or annual amount will happen on a specific date. We get caught up in the good-ass marketing strategies and say, "If it ain't free, it ain't for me," so why not try it out? It all makes sense until you wake up to a deduction from your account you were not anticipating. The reminder to cancel the subscription was on your calendar, but life happened, and you forgot. You are now upset because it's between paychecks, and sis, you barely had enough money to make it to the next one. Your girl has been there before and was livid because I thought I had calculated all my expenses down to the penny and was trying to figure out what I would do. The only option left was to call and see if Sweet Baby Jesus would let the most empathetic representative answer the phone. I needed them to hear the concern in my voice so I could get my coins back in my account and cancel the subscription like yesterday.


Depending on who you get on the phone, canceling can be easy or a nightmare. You are at the mercy of the person on the other end of the line, but baby, you can't get upset because you knew what you were signing up for. Accountability falls on you, and you must be okay with the consequences. In most cases, once you cancel that subscription, you are typically done with it unless you need the HBO app again to watch your favorite show's new season, like me. Still, I have to be careful to remember.

We must be cautious about what we subscribe to daily because of the potential cost in the long run. It can cause you to lose your life, sleep, peace, money, or even your mind because it has no purpose in being in your life in the first place. On the other hand, you don't have to accept something because it was free or introduced to you. The decision is yours to decline and say I don't need anything else, but it's up to you. If you decide to re-subscribe to something you canceled, be sure you are willing to accept the terms and conditions and not let it drain your account. Choose wisely because everything comes with a price!

I challenge you to ask yourself these questions.

  1. What things or people have you subscribed to that you need to cancel?

  2. If you have re-subscribed, is it worth the risk?

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The other day my eight-year-old came into the room and asked, "Mommy have you seen the band-aids"? I answered, "Of course I have," but first, tell me what happened. He says I've hurt myself yet again, and now I'm bleeding. I'm thinking to myself; these kids are always doing something. I was like, Jo, you must be more careful and watch what you're doing because this has happened too often. We cleaned his wound and placed the band-aid on it so it could begin the healing process. I started thinking about how I've injured others or wounded myself due to bad decision-making. What stood out the most about the situations was how I kept returning to the very thing that hurt me and how I bled on the ones close to me during my healing process.

You must do a few things for a wound to heal correctly. First, stop it from bleeding further, clean it, put some ointment on it, and place a band-aid over it. The purpose of the band-aid is to act as a barrier so that infection doesn't occur during the healing process. The band-aid size will be based on the size of the wound. Sometimes, a band-aid will not help, and a doctor must be seen because the damage is so severe. Band-aids have to be changed often at the beginning of your healing because they become so saturated and will begin to bleed out on your clothes, furniture, or whatever it touches. As time progresses, the band-aid can be temporarily removed to allow breathing room to prevent suffocation. You will notice you are changing them less often as scabs begin forming.

Scabs and Scars

The scab forming indicates that your wound is healing. The scab is an additional barrier to the band-aid; however, you must be careful because it doesn't take much to rip it off. The thing you don't want to do is pick your scab because you will only delay the healing. My mama always would tell us, "If you keep touching your wound, it will never heal properly. Let me tell you, Myrtle B was right because when I did, an ugly scar would form. Scarring is the final stage of healing, and it will let you know the depth of the wound. The scar will also let you know if, while healing, the wound became infected or was picked at.

Many of us have wounds that are open and not healed. Why? Because we don't go through a cleansing phase and rid ourselves of the things that need to be removed. There are no barriers to hinder infections or being more infected than we already are. We keep going about our lives and not addressing that we are bleeding onto others. As we heal, we pick at the scabs, which sets us back even more. Trust me, your girl, know how that is because I did it and kept running back to the very thing that caused me to be wounded. We think our wounds will magically close without doing the work and return to the state before being injured. When we become completely healed, the scars remain and often remind us of the small or large injuries we experience. Remember that anytime you are faced with something that injures you, stop the bleeding, clean the wound, place a band-aid on it, let it air out, allow the scab to form, and rip it off once it's healed.

I challenge you to ask yourself these questions?

  1. Are you in the process of healing from something that injured you?

  2. What does your Band-Aids look like??

  3. Are you bleeding out on the others as you heal?

  4. Will you trust the process?

"In Order To Heal From It, You Have to Deal With It?

~C Nicole~

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Indianapolis, IN

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