Triggers

On Saturday morning, I woke up, and all I heard was the word "Trigger." I didn't understand why I was hearing it; however, I knew it had to be a reason. I'm a person who can feel things before they happen. Honestly, the shit is scary sometimes, but this is just how God made me, so I embrace it. Most of my family look at me like I'm crazy because I remember my dreams, wake up, and talk about them the next day in full detail. I usually dream or have a feeling before something takes place, so I typically keep my head on a swivel. I also become more aware during these times, and my senses are through the roof. Chile, Saturday, your girl was not feeling the best, and the things I'm usually on point with, I was not that day. I encountered something that triggered me and was impacted all across the board. A few days before this happened. I had a conversation with my mom and told her I felt something brewing; however, one of my closest friends warned me a few weeks prior.

Warning Shots Fired

Sis was on point with the warning because, baby, it came to fruition but not how I thought it would. I thought it would be more direct, yet it was not, and your girl was not ready. My initial reaction was calm because I had to restrain myself and give my son the space to vent; however, when I hung up the phone from him, I let it rip. I was ready to "Put My Hood Up" in the words of LIL JON and The East Side Boyz but I did not. I couldn't let my son see me react to a battle that belonged to him, not me. I started to dwell on it and became hotter than fish in grease on a Saturday afternoon at the church fish fry. At that moment, I realized I was triggered, and my friend's warning and the words I heard that morning had come to pass yet I still wasn't ready.

What is a Trigger and What Do They Look Like?

Triggers are reminders that something you once loved, valued, invested in, sacrificed for, or experienced, had a lasting impression. The impact may be good or bad; however, you don't forget. You can become triggered when a memory crosses your mind, the smell of a fragrance, a song on the radio, driving a past old job, or even a holiday coming around. The issue with triggers is that they can overtake you when you don't know how to handle them and when others identify them, we don't listen because we think "We Got This".

How often do we get warnings from others or a feeling that we don't take heed to? We think we can handle it until we realize it is familiar, and by that time, we are triggered. We set ourselves back because of how we respond, but why do we often react in a negative manner and not keep cool? The reason is that we are human and are not always on point. We can easily get caught slipping, which is okay, but we must keep that trigger finger (reaction) in the holster tucked away.

1. How will you respond to your triggers?

2. Will you take heed to the warnings?

3. Are you actively working to change your reaction when the same trigger presents itself?

Under Construction

Imagine driving down the road on a hot day when the air goes out in your car, and you are rushing to get to work or drop kids off at daycare. The street you take daily all of a sudden is blocked off, and now you are forced to take a detour. A state of frustration begins to overtake you because one, you are hot, and two, you are about to be late to work. You start to panic, causing yourself to be even hotter than you were, and your day is off to a bad start. You look up, and all you see are construction cones and signs, and now you are singing Deborah Cox's How Did You Get Here.". The postings were there; however, you don't pay attention even when warned.

Warning

Construction planning is very strategic because engineers must make proper provisions due to the financial impact, time, and staffing necessary to complete the project in a timely manner. The planning also includes those traveling in the area to help them prepare for a detour, congestion, and avoidance of frustration during these times. Most people are so used to a routine that they hop in their cars and trust the road will be clear on the daily path they travel. We forget to look at our surroundings and miss important things like warning signs informing us that it will be inaccessible for some time. It's no different than how we conduct our lives while we are "Under Construction, but the question is, why?

Hardhead and Not Hardhats

The answer is simple, "We don't think fat meat is greasy, as my husband always says. Meaning we don't believe what we see. We fail to take heed to what was clearly in plain sight. We choose to take routes, causing frustration, angriness, missed opportunities, and in situations we had no place in being involved. We don't map out anything but dive right in and wonder why when a detour is present; we are now like the person with no air about to be late for work. Your girl has not adhered to warning signs while under Construction. I delayed my progression, and it took longer to attain things because I chose the route I wanted to take.

Many of us are currently under construction or coming out of the work zone, We are trying to figure out if the detours we are taking will lead us to where we are supposed to land in life. We are trying to navigate on our own or looking for direction from others, but how beneficial is that. You must take your time, pay attention, plan, and take the proper detour to complete the project you are working on (Self). Trust the signs so that you can see the final project.

1. How do you handle detours?

2. Are you willing to pay attention to the warning signs?

Roadrunners

While traveling to Atlanta last week for a memorial service for my husband's grandmother, I was in deep thought. Your girl had nothing but time because it was almost an eight-hour drive. I watched the many vehicles on the road, from semi-trucks to cars. I thought about how the truck drivers commanded the road without thinking. I looked over at the many cars that figured they had the horsepower to run the road with the truck drivers. The cars appeared to be at an advantage because they could maneuver easily due to not carrying a load. The truck drivers, on the other hand, could keep up but not at the car's speed because of their load and could not jump in and out of lanes. The truck drivers were headed to the destination designed for them; however, those in the cars acted as if they were in a race, which I am sure was far from the truck driver's mind. It made me think about life and how so many of us have people that come alongside us to perpetuate like they are on this road called “Life” with us. They sit at your table, ride in your car, travel with you, and call you family. I am talking about people you call your ride or die, homie, dawg, girl, or boy, and not the roadrunner bird from Looney Tunes that said, “Meep Meep.”

What’s A Roadrunner?

Roadrunners are very strategic people that make you feel comfortable to the point you are oblivious to their true intentions. Most roadrunners act like they have your back to the end, and secretly they are wishing it bend. The plan is not to walk alongside you but to be you. Involvement and support are their specialties but they are secretly plotting to pass you up. Many of us have roadrunners in our lives riding next to us, but we do not take notice because we do not think to check our side mirrors due to our comfortability. We are so focused on our destination that someone trying to copy us, let alone pass us up, is far from our radar. Think about a race, whether track and field or cars. The person is in competition, and they develop a strategy of how they win. They have to study, ask questions, follow you and learn all your tricks so they can try to beat you. They may act like they do not know what they are doing, and out of nowhere, they speed up to pass you by in hopes of making it to the finish line before you. The funny thing is, you are not in a race with no one but yourself and just walking in the gifts God destined for you. The other person does not see that because they want what you have. Truthfully, what it has taken to get you to the moment you currently are at that didn't even get to witness that, but they want the lane not created for them.

Why Are You Racing?

Roadrunners race because they do not have their own lane and try to get in yours. Instead of determining what destiny looks like for them, they skip out on the work and copy you. When you identify you have a roadrunner in your life, child, please do not feel betrayed or even shocked because all roads eventually run out. The reality is you are ten steps ahead of them. Yes, you may think they have it going on, and it looks like they are getting so far but know that they will lose traction, their stamina will decrease, and they will no longer be able to continue the race because it was never intended for them. Sis, how you gone come to a race you were not invited to. I have encountered many roadrunners in my life, and when I identified their intentions, I removed them from my race. Although it was hard, it was necessary.

The roadrunners you experience, do not worry about them. Just know they may seem like they have gotten ahead, but eventually, you will pass them. The reality of knowing they must see you when the road runs out on the way to your destiny (destination) let it form a smile on your face. Do not be bitter; just wave, say “Meep Meep,” and take the place intended for you.

I challenge you today to do an inventory for the r0adrunners in your life. Ask yourself the questions below.

1. Are you able to identify the roadrunners?

2. What will you do when you realize who they are?

3. How will you navigate after?

The other thing I challenge you to do is if you are Married or Engaged, head over to Love Minus Limits to check out a Free 3 Day Challenge to Maximize the Connection in Your Marriage, and register https://subscribepage.com/maximizemarriagejuly?fbclid=IwAR1MITEtGNAT1hbWsQ4_YRMINGo1m2IOgYJmDPKPoH8kYXaO5rPsl4WMkaM